This is the blog of a Norwegian (Marianne, aka 'M') who moved to Australia in 2007 to be with Roger (aka R) and feels lucky to have escaped a comparatively communistic country with ridiculous weather!

I think it’s time to change the punishment for certain types of crime, such as paedophilia, rape and incest.

They should be castrated. Nunna that chemical stuff, I’m talking removing testicles kinda castration.

We do it to our pets all the time. Our dogs and cats are better off that way. They’ll never have sex, so we take away the urge to have sex. The animals are happier, and the owners don’t have to deal with an animal full of raging hormones. It’s a win-win situation.

So why not do it to paedophiles? Obviously, they should never ever have sex. They’re better off without the urge, and the rest of society will be safe from them. Plus no man in his right mind would ever try to rape a woman again. They wouldn’t risk losing the most precious thing they have.

Here in Norway, someone is trying to get slot machines banned. The reason is that ppl get addicted and can’t walk past one without spending money on it. As a result, they get more and more debt, and their lives are ruined, altho the money goes to charity.

So far so good, but what about alcoholics? No one bans liquor stores for them. Alcohol ruins their health, and the money goes to rich ppl so they can make more alcohol. Same goes for cigarettes.

If anything should be banned, it’s cigarettes. They don’t just cost a fortune, get ppl addicted and give them lung cancer, they also poison everyone in the vicinity of the smoker.

Even when you've chosen to not smoke, you still smoke.

Why is that as soon as a Christian falls in love, they think God has a part in it? It’s like they don’t think their body is capable of falling in love on it’s own. How silly is that?

That’s why I think Christians have higher divorce rates than the rest of the population. As soon as they meet someone they feel the slightest attraction to, they think “wow, this must be God’s doing. We must be soulmates!” So they go and rush into marriage so they can start their lives together, thinking it’ll be a breeze; they’re soulmates after all. After a few months, maybe a year or 2, they realise it’s not as easy as they thought it would be. Then they go “it’s gotten difficult, we can’t be soulmates and this wasn’t God’s doing after all”. Since it wasn’t God who brought them together, they get divorced.

Stupid ppl.

Tonight Camilla and i realised the movie ‘Charlie and the chocolate factory’ is clearly a biblical allegory.

Charlie represents Jesus, the children humans and the chocolate Jesus’ blood, but also sin.

Charlie was willing to sacrifice everything for his chocolate factory, just like Jesus sacrificed everything for humans.

The children are an allegory of the verse “for many are invited, but few are chosen”. (Mat 22:14) They were all invited to the factory, but only one of them was chosen – by Charlie.

The chocolate is the blood because everything was covered in chocolate, just like everything is covered in Jesus’ blood (aka mercy).

Chocolate is sin when the fat, greedy boy is stuck in it, cuz he’s stuck in his sin, as ppl often are.

Camilla has recently started making a bunch of friends at church. They’re mostly several years younger than me and still in their teens, so I haven’t made any particular attempt to get to know them. I hadn’t realised I was completely invisible to them tho. After a recent youth meeting, a few ppl came over to Camilla and introduced themselves. I was standing right next to her, but they didn’t bother to introduce themselves to me. I didn’t even get so much as a nod or even a look in my general direction.

One of them actually thought she brought a different friend every time…!

Maybe i could add this to my list of superpowers...

thomas is the perfect male. he's modest, but friendly and loves ppl; especially me:) at night he jumps up in my bed for a cuddle and a spoon, and he stays there all night. if he was a man, he'd be perfect. he's like Roger in cat shape:)

Ålesund is frickin invaded by ticks! I can't believe it, they're everywhere! It's global warming. It's getting warmer and wetter, and ticks love that.

Thomas drags in ticks sometimes. Yesterday morning he was outside for 20 mins. A few hours later, i found 3 ticks on him. 2 of them hadn't bitten him yet, so they musta been new. This morning, when he'd been inside for 24 hours, i found another on him, also before it bit him. That means he got it inside. I have no idea where he finds them... A few mins ago i found one on my bedroom floor, looking for a victim.

I dreamt about ticks last night. They were huge, and everywhere. it was disgusting. I hate ticks.

Camilla wrote this short story. She refuses to post it, but I think it's good and all the world should be allowed to enjoy it. So here it is. (Background music: Howie Day - Collide. )

Cherry and vanilla
a work of art by Camilla:)

The gentle wind threw itself between the two houses. The smell of warm asphalt filled the little, yellow house when the rhythmic wind brought it in through the kitchen window. The once green plant stood with yellow leaves on the kitchen counter.

On the table stood pancakes with syrup, lemonade in mugs and strawberries with sugar. She looked at what she’d made; her dark brown eyes checked every detail. She bent over to check that the glasses were in the right places and smiled.

The sound of sweet bird song sounded nice in her ears while she turned her head and looked out at the shining day. Her pretty skirt painted the whole room in pink when the sun reached it.

She rested her dark head in her hands while she sighed heavily. He wasn’t home yet, but oh, how she was looking forward to seeing him again! She tasted on her tongue, Maria and Peter. She said it aloud, Maria and Peter. A smile formed on her pink lips, the names tasted good together, like cherry and vanilla.

Peter dipped the cherry into the vanilla and smiled. His blonde hair was smooth like a  pale apple, the green eyes studied her with an alert look while she spun round and round on the dance floor. Her dark hair danced like a loose parasol in the wind and the blue skirt folding around itself while she took her friend’s hand and pulled her close.

Her friend giggled and whispered little words into her hair. She turned towards him, his heart pounded like a clock under his light shirt, her smile froze when she saw him. She knew who he was, he knew who she was, but they’d never said a word to each other.

She pulled her beige purse further up on her arm and smiled back at him, a shaking smile, but a smile nonetheless. His eyes fell like rock in water down to her bare feet, her toes curled nervously when she felt her legs slowly walk towards him. He looked up at her, nervous and curious, like two green budgies in flight.

‘Hi…’ she said while she fiddled with her skirt. He noticed that her pale face was now red, like cherry in vanilla. ‘Hi’, he said and felt his breath return to him. ‘Is this seat taken?’ she asked with her finger in her mouth.

Her father took a piece of his syrupy pancake while his eyes rested on the written words in the newspaper on the table. ‘What do you know..’ he mumbled through his chewed up pancake.

Maria politely sipped her lemonade and looked up at him curiously. He smiled broadly, ‘our boys are home’. Her breath left her, ‘what do you mean, dad?’ she asked as calmly as she could, even though she felt a lump form in her throat.

He looked at her through his brown eyes, the eyes she had inherited. ‘Looks like our brave soldiers are coming home today at 3 o’clock. Two of them are getting badges of honour and everything.’

She closed her eyes in happiness and felt a warm tear run down her cheek; they would finally be together again.

A tear fell from her cheek. ‘You what?!’ she screamed while she turned towards him. Peter hid his face in his hands. ‘Please, Maria…’ Her legs could hardly carry her anymore. The bitter wind pulled at her dress, her big hair was wet from the sharp raindrops which had fallen from the night.

Her eyebrows pulled together stubbornly and she wiped her wet cheek. ‘I can’t believe how selfish you are, Peter Mirsgaard’ she said bitterly while she took a step away from him. He lifted his hurt eyes and shook his head. ‘Maria, please…’ he whispered and reached out for her. ‘I have to do this. I can’t let the others down now.’

She turned her head towards the brown ground which was once filled with violets and sighed, ‘why would you leave everything you have..’ she felt a lump in her throat, ‘to fight for a country you don’t like? Do I mean that little to you?’ Her voice was no more than a hurt breath which disappeared with the whispering wind.

Pain filled his face while he pulled her to him and hugged her tightly. ‘Maria, please don’t talk like that… please..’ Her wet hair stuck to his chin. ‘I love you’, he mumbled while he kissed her head. She put her arms around him, the rain and the wind seemed to disappear now, the only ones in the whole world were the two of them; Maria and Peter.

The black smoke filled her lungs while she looked into the windows on the train. The red frame around the window shone in her face and she turned around, overwhelmed. There were other families which were also waiting for their loved ones. Maria looked over at a little boy who stood next to her, he carried a sign saying ”Dad Jacob”. She smiled at him before she before she walked on. The warm sun burnt her white skin and turned her pink lips red.

A screaming whistle snuck into her ears and she bit her lip to keep from screaming with joy; after 8 months they would finally see each other again. The black doors opened and men in green poured out like water from an overfilled cup. She pressed through the crowd which had gathered and stood on her toes to see over the tall man in front of her.

Like a green carousel the men twirled their girlfriends round and round. They laughed and kissed. Maria smiled when a woman in tears almost pushed over the last soldier from that carriage. She turned towards the other carriage and waited with butterflies in her tummy and her heart.

He pulled out of the kiss and smiled down at her. She shook her head and let a tear fall, the people around them rushed past, but she didn’t hear them, it was like she was trapped in a cocoon. ‘Don’t go..’ she pleaded one last time while she stroked his cold cheek.
His pupils dilated before he closed his eyes. ‘Please don’t tempt me to stay’ he whispered and opened his green eyes. She stared up at him, ‘would you stay?’ she whispered and pulled him to her.

He took a deep breath and let his chest rise. ‘I’ll be back soon’, he whispered back. She closed her eyes and let his words sink in to warm her cold, mourning heart. ‘Maybe then we could get married?’ he asked while he still held her close.

She opened her eyes and gasped, pulled her head away from his neck and looked up at him. ‘To each other?’ she asked surprised. He smiled. ‘Preferably.’ Her head fell back against his hard chest. ‘Ok’, came the short reply, ‘maybe we can’, she breathed and rubbed up against his green coat.

Maria folded her arms and looked around, the train station was empty. Empty like a bird with no feathers, like a wolf without teeth. She swallowed a shivering breath through her clenched teeth. Where was he? The wind whispered sweet words in her ears, she calmed down. Maybe he came on an earlier train. Or maybe he came on a later one.

Her chest rose in her tight dress and she felt her legs carry her closer to the door. That’s when it happened, what she never thought could happen, what she hadn’t dared to think about until now: A white coffin was carried off the train. She stared at the coffin and felt the tears sting her eyes, she shook her head. This wasn’t happening. It wasn’t Peter in that coffin. He probably arrived on an earlier train. Or a later one, but not this one.

She turned quickly and ran down the platform. She would come back later, that’s when he would come, on a later train. Or maybe he was home already. Her shaking legs stopped when she heard her name called behind her. She shook her head, why did she stop? There was no point staying now, he would arrive on a later train.

Her name was called again and she turned around. The officer she barely knew walked calmly towards her and put his hand on her shoulder. ‘I’m so sorry, Maria.’ She shook her head again and pulled away from his burning hand. ‘But he’s coming on a later train..’ she sobbed.

‘Peter died like a real hero’, he said while he pulled something out of his pocket. ‘He talked about you every day.’ He looked down. ‘He asked me to give you this, so i took care of it the best i could.’ He held his hand out towards her. She breathed heavily and felt her legs give in under her, but she took the twig of the dried cherries. Tears fell nearly as fast as her world. ‘That’s what we ate the first time we met’, she whispered.

‘I promise, Maria! When I come home we’ll celebrate with cherries and vanilla and end up like fat 70 year olds!’, Peter shouted through the little window on the train. Maria smiled. ‘I love you!’ she shouted back while she waved the train goodbye.

If she only knew she waved Peter goodbye as well.

I had a busy day today. I meant to get up at 9 to get to the shopping centre before it got crowded, but I didn't get up till 10, so that ruined my plan.

Instead I chatted with Roger for a little while before he had to go and left me all alone. I showered (very nice), and then sat around for a couple hours till my dad got here to pick me up. We went out to his place so i could take the car and Camilla to the shopping centre. We were there till 6, then we went back to dad's to eat and Camilla to re-do her makeup before we went to mine (cuz I had to have my lip balm!) and a youth meeting at church.

When we'd finished there we went back to dad's cuz Camilla left her phone, then we drove to mum's for Camilla to drop off her things, and then i drove her to meet some friends of hers.

I just got home. That's my day. In case anyone wanted to know.

I took Julie and Thomas to the vet's today to have them checked for lice, cuz they're going to a cattery on saturday (cuz I'm going to Bermuda:D:D) and i don't want them to infest the place.

So off we went, thinking this was gonna be quick and easy. They're still itching, but last time I was there the vet's said that happens sometimes, so I didn't expect them to still have lice.

And they don't. But they still itch. Vet said that's not normal, that they shoulda been better by now. He also said he has No idea what's wrong with them. They've been treated for every possible parasite several times. If I'd only had one cat he'd think it was psychological or allergies, but it's both of them.

So we're trying some new, ridiculously expensive treatment for parasites. It better work.

i bought the cutest bracelet today!! I Love it!!

I can't believe I've just finished my 2nd year at uni. And I feel like I haven't learnt a dam thing. I prolly haven't, but I've passed more than half of my exams.

Which brings me to the real problem: I still fail nearly half of my exams. No one ever taught me to study. I don't remember anyone ever helping me with my homework when I was a kid. And up till I was 19, that was ok. I'm smart enough to remember stuff I've read once, and that was enough to pass my exams and tests in school. But that just won't do at uni.

I try to study, and at the exams I'll feel like I have it under control, and that I did pretty well. But then I fail. And now they won't let me start on my 3rd year. I have to do an extra year just to pass some stupid exams.

I'm so fed up with the whole student thing. I wanna just quit. But I can't do that either, cuz then I'll prolly clean floors the rest of my life. Plus i have a huge student loan I'd have to start paying off; it was 130000kr last time i checked.

So I guess I'll go back to uni in August, and spend 5 years on getting a dam bachelor....:/

Camilla and I were at the book store today to get a b-day pressy for dad. We were gonna pay half each. I had a 100kr bill which was Camilla's and would pay for my half with my card. We went up to the counter and there stood 2 gurls. They couldn't have been more than 13 or 14. After one of them whispered the price to me while she avoided eye contact, the other one put the book in a plastic bag for me, as if they need 2 ppl to do that. Here's the conversation that followed:

me: Can I pay with a 100kr bill and put the rest on my card?
gurl: *empty look* huh?!
me: Can I pay with this *waving the 100kr bill in front of her* and put the rest on my card? *holding the card up to show her*
gurl: No, you can't do that.
me: Errr.... yes I can.
gurl: Well we don't know how to do that, we're just the summer help.
me: ..... right.....
gurl: Can't you go find an ATM?
me: *glaring at her* I'll put it all on my card then.

dam kids