This is the blog of a Norwegian (Marianne, aka 'M') who moved to Australia in 2007 to be with Roger (aka R) and feels lucky to have escaped a comparatively communistic country with ridiculous weather!

Got back from England a few hours ago. It was fun to see R and he's as wonderful as always. I'm a lil worried that England has the same effect on him as it has on its population tho. England being so drab and colourless has made its inhabitants grumpy and negative. R seemed grumpier than normal. Awwww poor thing o_O

Anyway, England was fun. We ate lotsa junk food, went for long walks and had deep, meaningful conversations.

One day we decided to go and have a look at Hadleigh Castle, which is more a ruin of a castle than anything. It's from the 14th century and is pretty kewl. Getting there was interesting tho. We knew there was a path from the train station, but we couldn't find the train station. So we asked this old couple we came across if they knew the way to Hadleigh Castle. They acted as if we were completely ridiculous to wanna walk there cuz apparently that was hours away and not a walkable distance. We then asked for the train station, and they kept pointing to the railway track. No train station in sight. Cute.

We decided not to listen to them cuz they were clueless. We walked back where we came from and found the train station!! Yay! From there we found a path which we decided to follow and it eventually led us to the castle. It didn't take that long.

We also rented a car and went to Isle of Wight to see Camilla, cuz that's where she'll be living for the next year. It was a 2 and a half hour drive down to Portsmouth, where we would get on the ferry. Only after we got there did we find out that it was a ridiculous £90 for a return ticket. It wasn't that far across, but the ferry hardly moved at all and somehow managed to spend 40 mins on crossing. Might as well swim there....

I hadn't seen C for a month, so it was nice to catch up. Since I recently discovered that all English towns have a main shopping street called 'High Street' (very original), we checked that out in Newport, and later in Shanklin, where we spent the night. We raided some gift shops, which is always fun. Coming back the next day we got stuck in traffic for 2 hours. Just to be funny, someone put "Congestion - slow down" on the signs. As if it would be possible to go slower. 

I got a haircut which made me look endlessly British. R got one too, but his just looks kewl.

Speaking of England, I've realised that they are very American in some ways. For example, they are unable to think for themselves. They have so many road signs you'd think no one is expected to have a licence and actually be capable of independent thought. All automatic doors have a sign that says 'automatic door', and all bottles lets you know they need to be opened by hand and in what direction.

They are also very weird. Apart from having a High Street in every town, every English town looks exactly the same. Seen one, seen em all. Same style houses in the same colours (mostly brown, grey and white). Their pavement is very uneven and all in different colours. Some grey, some dark grey, some pink, some yellow.. as if some of it was added later on as an afterthought and no one bothered to check whether or not it would go with what's already there. Bus stops face the wrong way.

There are more photos on the photos page.

After finding out that I won't be getting a student loan and scholarship this year I decided I've had enough. This is it. Last straw. I'm quitting uni.

Now I can finally get rid of those million kroner books that are cluttering my book shelf. I've been wanting to get rid of them, but couldn't cuz we might need them for some project or whatnot.

No more projects, no more exams, no more uni. I'm done.

A conversation I had 4 years ago came to mind today. I was in the car with a guy and a gurl from church, and we were agreeing that women's clothing show too much skin these days. The gurl said that the new style now is to be covered up, and it's ok to show some curves as long as you don't show too much skin. The guy disagreed and said that preferably women shouldn't show any feminine forms.

I realised that that's what men do. When they look at women they get dirty thoughts. Instead of dealing with what's in their own mind, they get scared and choose the easy way out and demand that women should look less feminine and sexy.

That's why some women wear burkas. And that's why they get stoned to death if a man sees some of her skin. He gets dirty thoughts and it's easier to blame the woman than to look inside himself and change his ways.

Steve Irwin was killed by a stingray today. It's so sad and such a loss for both humans and animals:(

Australian article
Norwegian article

R.I.P. Steve, we'll miss you!

My darling Camilla is 17 today. I can't believe it. My baby is all grown up. I'm still older tho and I get to tell her what to do for a while still:)

My grandfather's 80th b-day is coming up. There's gonna be a party with a bunch of relatives. The first thing I thought when they said there would be a party was "I have nuthin to wear" and then "yay I can go shopping with Camilla!" But then I realised that I can't, cuz she's abandoned me to go to the Isle of Wight:( That's also when I realised I would be all alone at the party with no one to talk to and that would be boring.

But it turns out I won't be alone after all, cuz R has decided to join me:) And he's not gonna know anyone and will prolly be bored, but at least we'll be bored together. Awwwww, he's so brave and sweet and perfect:)

I quit uni about 2 weeks ago and since then my life has been ... aimless. I feel like I'm drifting. I have no goal and no idea what I wanna do with my life. It's kinda depressing. I'm looking for a job, but any job I would get would be temporary and not something I'd wanna do forever.

But at the same time I don't wanna go back to studying med lab technology. I never wanted to study it in the first place. My dad suggested it one day and I had nuthin better to do so I thought 'why not'. It's interesting stuff, but working in a hospital and having to touch old wrinkly ppl who smell of urine and disease is the last thing I wanna do. And that's most likely what I'd be doing.

I need to go back to uni tho. I need a goal. I just have to figure out what it should be. I wanna work with animals. That's what I've always wanted.

I was looking for something online today and used a search engine. I clicked one of the sites on the list, but I didn't find what I was looking for, so I wanted to go back to my list. I couldn't. Some idiot thought it would be funny if ppl who visited his/her site was unable to go back. I was very annoyed cuz I had to type in the addy for the search engine again and retype what I was looking for. Lotsa sites do that.

What's wrong with those ppl?? Did they wake up one morning and think "Hey, let's annoy anyone who is nice enough to visit the site I made and make them never wanna come back!!" Yeah that's right - I make a mental list of sites that do that and never visit them again.

It's not terribly clever tho, they wanna trap ppl, but it really is very easy to leave their site. It's just annoying. So being the perfectionist I am, I have to be better than them. It's now impossible to leave my site.

Don't believe me? Go on. Try. I dare ya.

"Well, Doctor, I was just trying to lie down..

Here's a fact for you. According to the latest Statistical Abstract of the United States, every year more than 400,000 Americans suffer injuries involving beds, mattresses or pillows. Think about that for a minute. That is almost 2,000 bed, mattress or pillow injuries a day. In the time it takes you to read this article, four Americans will somehow manage to be wounded by their bedding.

My point in raising this is not to suggest that Americans are somehow more inept than the rest of the world when it comes to lying down for the night (though clearly there are thousands who could do with additional training), but rather to observe that there is scarcely a statistic to do with this vast and scattered nation that doesn't in some way give one pause.

Consider this intriguing fact: almost 50,000 Americans are injured each year by pencils, pens and other desk accessories. How do they do it? I have spent many long hours sat at desks when I would have greeted almost any kind of injury as a welcome diversion, but never once have I come close to achieving actual bodily harm.

So I ask again: how do they do it? These are, bear in mind, injuries severe enough to warrant a trip to an emergency room. Putting a staple in the tip of your index finger (which I have done quite a lot, sometimes only semi-accidentally) doesn't count. I am looking around my desk now and unless I put my head in the laser printer or stab myself with the scissors I cannot see a single source of potential harm within 10 feet.

In 1992 (the latest year for which figures are available) more than 400,000 people in the United States were injured by chairs, sofas and sofabeds. What are we to make of this? Does it tell us something trenchant about the design of modern furniture or merely that Americans are exceptionally careless sitters? What is certain is that the problem is worsening. The number of chair, sofa and sofa-bed injuries showed an increase of 30,000 over the previous year, which is quite a worrying trend even for those of us who are frankly fearless with regard to soft furnishings. (That may, of course, be the nub of the problem - overconfidence.)

Predictably, 'stairs, ramps and landings' was the most lively category, with almost two million startled victims, but in other respects dangerous objects were far more benign than their reputations might lead you to predict. More people were injured by sound-recording equipment (46,022) than by skateboards (44,068), trampolines (43,655), or even razors and razorblades (43,365). A mere 16,670 over-exuberant choppers ended up injured by hatchets and axes, and even saws and chainsaws claimed a relatively modest 38,692 victims.

Paper money and coins (30,274) claimed nearly as many victims as scissors (34,062). I can just about conceive how you might swallow a dime and then wish you hadn't ('You guys want to see a neat trick?'), but I cannot for the life of me construct hypothetical circumstances involving folding money and a subsequent trip to the ER. It would be interesting to meet some of these people.

I would also welcome a chat with almost any of the 263,000 people injured by ceilings, walls and inside panels. I can't imagine being hurt by a ceiling and not having a story worth hearing. Likewise, I could find time for any of the 31,000 people injured by their 'grooming devices'.

But the people I would really like to meet are the 142,000 hapless souls who received emergency-room treatment for injuries inflicted by their clothing. What can they be suffering from? Compound pyjama fracture? Sweatpants haematoma? I am powerless to speculate."

Extracted from "Notes from a Big Country", by Bill Bryson.

Here are some of the classic questions that were asked of the Sydney Olympic Committee by Americans via their Web site, and the answers that were supplied where appropriate.

Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?
A: Upwards, out of the ground, like the person who asked this question, who themselves will need watering if their IQ drops any lower...

Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street?
A: Depends on how much beer you've consumed...

Q: Which direction should I drive - Perth to Darwin or Darwin to Perth - to avoid driving with the sun in my eyes?
A: Excellent question, considering that the Olympics are being held in Sydney.

Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad tracks?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, so you'll need to have started about a year ago to get there in time for this October...

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Australia?
A: And accomplish what?

Q: Do you have perfume in Australia?
A: No. Everybody stinks.

Q: Do tents exist in Australia?
A: Yes, but only in sporting supply stores, peoples' garages, and most national parks...

Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia?
A: This HAS to have been asked by a blonde...

Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female population is smaller than the male population?
A: Yes. Gay nightclubs.

Q: Can I drive to the Great Barrier Reef?
A: Sure, if your vehicle is amphibious.

Q: Are there killer bees in Australia?
A: Not yet, but we'll see what we can do when you get here.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia?
A: What's this guy smoking, and where do I get some?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year round?
A: Another blonde?

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can dispense rattlesnake serum.
A: I love this one...there are no rattlesnakes in Australia.

Q: Which direction is North in Australia?
A: Face North and you should be about right.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
A: Americans have long had considerable trouble distinguishing between Austria and Australia.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go?
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.