This is the blog of a Norwegian (Marianne, aka 'M') who moved to Australia in 2007 to be with Roger (aka R) and feels lucky to have escaped a comparatively communistic country with ridiculous weather!

Such is the intelligence of Usatians....



Source.

Last week I commented to R how nice it will be when we buy a new car at the end of the year, because it will be an automatic and that means I can drive it myself whenever I want to go somewhere, which would mean I wouldn't be dependent on him having time and wanting to drive me everywhere.

(I don't want to drive his current car because it's a sportscar with silly gears, and I don't want to deal with difficult gears at the same time as concentrating on driving on the left, changing gears with the wrong hand and looking in mirrors that are in the wrong spot.)

After I had made my comment R just looked at me for a few seconds, and then said 'would you like me to buy you a car?' I hadn't expected that, so I was kind of shocked for a few seconds and then told him that if he wanted to, go for it.

We then reached an agreement that he would lend me the money to buy a cheap car just to get around in, until I get a job and can get a nicer one, and I also have to pay for rego, insurance and petrol.

So on Saturday we went around to heaps of car yards looking for a cheap automatic car that was also in decent condition and not too old. We found two identical Hyundai Excels, in car yards that were right next to each other, and they were exactly the same price.

Today we went back for a closer look and a test drive, and it turned out one wasn't registered while the other one was, but the one that was registered had done more k's. In the end we decided on the registered one, because it would work out cheaper and it seemed to be in better condition than the other one.

I drove it home, following R, and we gave it a nice wash (it was a bit dusty) and detailing (people just don't take care of their cars). We discovered some damaged rubber/plastic and a few cracks in the dash, but nothing serious.

We then had to go back out to help a friend put up some fencing, and we both got in my car all ready to go. I turned the key, and nothing. The car had just died.

R used to work with cars, so he messed around with it for a couple of hours and had no idea what was wrong with it, he tested the battery and fuses and some other things, but nothing appeared to be wrong. He finally decided to call the guy we bought it off. He lives nearby, so he came over after he finished work, and after a quick look at the car, he asked where the little tubular thing that was on the keychain had gone. Apparently that's a little magnet that's required to start the car. We'd taken it off the keychain because we didn't know what it was. I went and got it, and the car immediately started perfectly.

We felt a bit silly....

I'm so happy to have my own car, I'm now an independent person:)







Images can be clicked for bigger versions.

I decided to add some character to my car. I don't want to spend a lot of money on it, it being a temporary cheapy, but it would be a bit boring to leave it like it was when I bought it.

The stuff I got was stuff that it needed anyway. I got cute floor mats (it had no floor mats and the carpet was wearing through), and sun shade bubbly thingy for the windscreen, a central locking system and new speakers.

It didn't actually need central locking, but it's very convenient to not have to stick the key in the lock and unlocking each door seperately.

It had four speakers, and only one was actually working properly. While R was taking the doors apart to put in the central locking system, he decided to replace the speakers as well. He originally moved the working one from the back to the front, but it also needed one for the other door, so we decided to buy a pair of new speakers and replace both of them. At the back R put two spare speakers that he had lying around anyway.

R working on the car:



R spent over 5 hours putting in the central locking system and new speakers, which makes him the best boyfriend ever:)

Floormats:


Bubbly sun shade (blue of course:)):


To people in Europe, 'sun damage' on cars must be a rather foreign concept, but it's very common here. It causes the steering wheel and dash and any other rubber/plastic parts to go funny and crack, so you buy stuff to rub on it regularly to protect it, and also get the bubbly stuff to protect the dash, which also conveniently keeps the car kind of cool.

I have recently been thinking about what a good dad I have. I have a brother who is two years older than me, and our dad never treated us any differently - he always took both of us fishing and let us help him while he was painting or building things. I was never told that I shouldn't or couldn't do anything because I'm a girl, and never told to be lady-like and pretty and cute. I was always expected to be able to do anything my brother could do.

From my early teens my dad had no probs going away for a weekend and leaving me and my brother home alone. He trusted us to not do anything stupid and to be fully capable of caring for ourselves. When there was a problem to be solved, he never told me the solution, he told me to experiment or think about it for myself and work it out.

I'm sure my dad never even gave this any thought, he took it for granted that I was useful and capable, but I think he deserves to get some credit for the way he raised us.

Recently I have encountered men roughly my own age that expect me to be delicate and incapable. I always thought men these days were beyond that 1920s way of thinking, but I guess not. It's foreign to me to be seen as fragile and be catered to as if I'm made of glass and not risk anything being uncomfortable for me.

These men can't stand to watch me lift anything that weighs more than 5 kg, or carry wood that might give me splinters, or stand up when I could be sitting, or wash a car. (Altho they have no probs watching me clean a house.) They think it's ok for them to rudely interrupt and push me aside and take over what I'm doing, even if I was managing and didn't ask for any help.

I absolutely cannot stand to be treated that way. I hate being seen as weak an incapable and for people to think that I shouldn't be doing something trivial like wash a car, just because I'm female. I'm not as physically strong as the average male, true enough, but I think I should be allowed to judge what I'm capable of doing, not the men around me.

I grew up never giving this a second thought, because no one ever treated me as incapable and helpless, and so I never realised how good my dad was. And Roger is the same way, he expects me to be able to do anything he can do. And if I can't do something, it's simply because I have never done it before and so never learnt to do it, not because I am incapable of learning it or doing it.

So here's some credit for my dad.

I have recently been thinking about the arrangment R and I have around the house. He works full time and I hardly work at all, so we have agreed that it's fair that I do most of the housework and prepare meals and take care of the cats etc. It's what you do when you live in a household with other people - you contribute.

Some people have made comments which would suggest that they think our arrangement is a bit weird, and that they would not put up with it. I have no idea why, as they can't possibly suggest that R should work full time, support both of us and do half the housework, while I sit around and do nothing most of the time.

However, I would agree that there is a very fine line between doing the housework to contribute, and becoming master and servant. Despite popular belief, I do not run around fetching drinks and snacks every time R has a slight craving. And I would not do that, because some things you can get up and do yourself. He's not an invalid.

That being said, I do get him a tea several times a day, when he asks for one, but seeing as R jumps up and gets me whatever I want when I ask him to, for no other reason than me not bothering to get up, I don't think that makes me a servant. What kind of relationship would it be if we could never do nice things for each other?

I would not make him a meal if he was the only one who was hungry. I make meals for both of us, and if he wants food and I'm not hungry, he gets it himself, or he waits until I'm hungry as well. If I made meals just for him and brought them to his room afterwards, I would start to feel like a servant, or a slave even.

And I do not make all the meals around here. I make the majority of meals, but a lot of the time R will get himself some food or offer to make dinner or come and help me while I'm cooking. He also brings his mug/glass and plate to the kitchen after he has finished eating, so I don't have to run around and gather everything every time I do dishes.

But there is a fine line. Just because I don't work doesn't mean I'm a free maid who runs around waiting on R. I would expect him to behave like an adult and get up and get things for himself, and not call me over to do it all the time. That would just be weird, and of course R doesn't do that. In fact he feels a bit weird about me bringing him drinks and meals, because he feels like I shouldn't wait on him. Which is part of the reason why I'm ok with it and offer to do it, because he doesn't expect it or see it as my duty.

And of course it's a temporary arrangement. As soon as I get a job we will share the housework 50/50, as is fair, and I have told R that if we have kids he can stay at home and take care of it/them, while I go to work every day. I have no desire at all to be a stay at home mum, I have other things I would rather be doing. And R being the perfect man told me that's fine with him, he would enjoy doing the housework and be supported.

He's my soulmate:)

... just go and wash your car. Works every time.

Early last week I decided I needed to wash my car, but had to wait until yesterday due to water restrictions. And then overnight it rained, for the first time in about two months...