I have heard several people say lately that women are getting "too picky", and that they should settle for someone who is not perfect rather than hanging around for "Mr Right".
This story is one of the places I have heard it; Should women accept a guy who is just good enough?
(the story then goes on to disagree with this view)
In the story, there is a female author who says:
| Gottlieb - who is 42 and the single mother of a child conceived via sperm donation - holds herself up as a cautionary tale: if you cling to the (unrealistic) ideal of finding Mr Right, you may end up all alone. |
Well, I disagree.
Perhaps the issue isn’t that women are ‘too picky’, maybe men have simply become too unlikable, with their cheating and lying and manipulating, just for the sake of getting into bed with a woman; because that is all men care about these days (the younger generation, not the older ones who were raised to think women deserve respect). And society encourages this view by using sex in advertising everywhere.
I wouldn’t blame any woman who chose to stay single with today’s selection of men. I found one myself, but I got lucky and found one who is decent. if I wasn’t with Roger I would still be single, and enjoying it, because I would rather be single and independent than be tied down with a man who would cheat on me, or lie to me.
If Roger engages in typical male activities (unlikely, which is part of why I chose him) I will again be single, and I would intend to stay single, because I wouldn’t believe the amount of decent men left in the world is high enough to make it likely for me to find one a second time.
I will not ever settle for a man who doesn't treat me with respect, and I don't think any woman should think she has to, for fear of being called 'picky'. It's not picky, it's healthy.
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yeah, what's with the suggestion that women HAVE to get a partner anyway?
Exactly, these days women have other goals in life than to just 'settle down and have kids'.
I think it's a very complicated issue that we are trying to talk about in simplistic terms. Can men be A-holes? Of course they can. Can they be bottom dwelling slime, who barely deserve to be called "men"? Of course they can. But let's not for get about that old adage about babies and bathwater...
But to have a partner to share life with, isn't that the real goal of marriage and family? To be honest... I think most people have the built up expectation of what they "think" love is, and that is what they want. But I think very few people actually have any idea what-so-ever of what love can be, and so they settle for something so far less than what they can have, just because they haven't been taught any better.
*Extremely simplistic view point*
So (most) guys, are trying to fill the void in their lives with physical pursuits. While (most) women try to fill it with an emotional glue that they think will help to hold their lives together. While neither really have the slightest idea of what true happiness is, nor how to find it.
Just an opinion, but I think women should be "picky". Don't settle for an A-hole and think that he will miraculously change just because he'll realize that "you" are the one. If women keep choosing A-holes, men will continue to think that is what they need to be.
And if men quit choosing "bodies" to be with, and actually TAKE THE TIME to get to know a women before becoming intimate, maybe, just MAYBE we'll start to see things in a better perspective.
very well put Richard, I couldnt agree more.